Taffy Sinclair 004 - Taffy Sinclair and the Romance Machine Disaster Read online

  TAFFY SINCLAIR AND THE ROMANCE MACHINE DISASTER

  Betsy Haynes

  A BANTAM SKYLARK BOOK®

  TORONTO · NEW YORK · LONDON · SYDNEY · AUCKLAND

  RL 5, 009-012

  TAFFY SINCLAIR AND THE ROMANCE MACHINE DISASTER

  A Bantam Skylark Book / April 1987

  2nd printing . . . June 1988

  Skylark Books is a registered trademark of Bantam Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and elsewhere.

  All rights reserved.

  Copyright © 1987 by Betsy Haynes.

  Cover art copyright © 1987 by Bantam Books.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  For information address: Bantam Books.

  ISBN 0-553-15644-6

  Published simultaneously in the United States and Canada

  Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. Its trademark, consisting of the words "Bantam Books" and the portrayal of a rooster, is Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada. Bantam Books, 666 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10103.

  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

  S 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4

  For Judy Johnasen Correll

  CHAPTER ONE

  "When Taffy Sinclair hears the news, she'll be so jealous she'll absolutely die."

  My four best friends all looked at me as if I'd totally lost my mind.

  "What news?" demanded Beth Barry. "Jana, what on earth are you talking about?"

  I just smiled mysteriously. I was dying to blurt it out, but I didn't, even though it was the most exciting thing that had happened in my entire life.

  "I hate to say this," said Katie Shannon, "but I can't think of a single reason for Taffy Sinclair to be jealous of you."

  I knew what Katie was thinking. Taffy Sinclair has long blond hair and big blue eyes and is the most gorgeous girl in the sixth grade at Mark Twain Elementary. Of course she is also the snottiest and most stuck-up person in the entire world. Besides that, she is my biggest enemy, and we've had clubs against each other and have been rivals for more things than I like to remember. But now I, Jana Morgan, finally had something she didn't have. Something that I knew she wanted. That was why I had called my four best friends and announced a special meeting of our self-improvement club, the Fabulous Five, so that I could break the news to everyone at once.

  "Come on, Jana. Don't keep us in suspense." Christie Winchell clasped her hands and held them up as if she were begging. "Tell us before we all explode."

  I was the one who was ready to explode, and so I took a deep breath and said, "Randy Kirwan called me a few minutes ago and asked me to watch his football game Saturday afternoon and then go out with him for pizza afterward."

  All four of my best friends' mouths dropped open at once, and it got totally quiet in my bedroom. Randy Kirwan is the handsomest and most popular boy in school, and I have had a secret crush on him for ages. My friends knew about my crush on Randy, but they didn't know that for a while I kept a picture of him hidden under a poster of Miss Piggy on the wall beside my bed with a night light under it. That way I could take down the Miss Piggy poster when I went to bed at night, turn on the night light, and look at his handsome face while I fell asleep.

  Suddenly Beth jumped up and put her face so close to mine that our noses were practically touching. "When did he ask you? What did he say? Tell us all about it!" she shrieked. Then she fell across my bed so hard that she bounced three times. "I can't believe it!" she said. "Randy Kirwan asked you for a date. You're the first girl in the sixth grade to have a date with a boy. You're even ahead of Taffy Sinclair!"

  I nodded triumphantly. "As soon as we hung up, I called this meeting to tell you all about it."

  "You're right about Taffy. She'll absolutely turn green when she sees you together Saturday," said Christie. "She's such a flirt, always hanging around him and making him talk to her."

  A picture of Taffy flirting with Randy flashed across my mind, making my face red and my ears hot. Christie was right. She does it all the time, flipping her long blond hair over her shoulder and rolling her big blue eyes. It's obvious to everybody that she has a huge crush on him, too. Suddenly I knew that I couldn't wait until Saturday.

  "Everybody help me think," I said. "We've got to come up with a way to let Taffy know about Randy and me before Saturday. We've got to make her suffer and be jealous and wish that she was going out with Randy instead of me."

  "One of us could call her on the phone right now," suggested Melanie.

  Christie was nodding and grinning like crazy. "And whoever did it could disguise her voice so Taffy wouldn't know who it was."

  I didn't say anything. I really wanted to see her face when she found out. Still, it wasn't such a bad idea.

  "I'll call her," said Beth. "I can disguise my voice so that she'll never know it's me. Come on, Jana. Let me call her."

  When I still didn't say anything, Beth added, "Then when we all go home we can call a bunch of other girls and tell them, and by the time you get to school in the morning, you'll be a celebrity."

  "Okay," I said. "You convinced me."

  I handed Beth the phone and felt tingles race up and down my spine as we all watched her dial. She held the receiver away from her ear so that we could hear it ringing, and I clamped a hand over my mouth and swallowed a giggle as a tiny voice said, "Hello."

  Beth sucked in her cheeks, raised her eyebrows and looked down at the mouthpiece wearing a very serious expression. Then she said in her best fake English accent, "Hello, dahling. May I puh-lease speak to Taffy Sinclai-ah."

  It was a super accent, and Melanie and I nodded excitedly to each other.

  "Taffy, dahling, is that you?" Then she winked and we almost broke up laughing.

  "I have some absolutely fabulous news, dahling. Jana Morgan has a date with Randy Kirwan after the football game Saturday afternoon."

  Beth held the receiver toward us again, and we could hear Taffy Sinclair as plain as anything. "That's a big fat lie. Who is this, anyway?"

  By now Beth was starting to giggle. "A lie! That's what you think," she sputtered, completely losing her accent.

  "Hang up," Katie insisted, "before she figures out that it's us."

  Beth dropped the receiver back into the cradle and we spent the next five minutes talking about how jealous Taffy must be.

  When everyone had stopped talking about Taffy, Melanie said, "Taffy's not the only one who's jealous. I think it's so romantic that Randy asked you out. It's just like on television."

  "Oh, no. This is not a soap opera," I said quickly. I was thinking about all those people on the soap operas my friends and I started watching when Taffy Sinclair got that teensy little part in Interns and Lovers and about all the terrible things that happened to them. "This is the real thing. Randy even said so."

  Christie's eyes got wide with excitement. "You've got to be kidding," she groaned ecstatically. "He said he loves you?"

  "Well, not exactly," I admitted. "Not those very words, anyway. What he said was that he really admires me. That means he thinks I'm a kind and sensitive person like he is and that we have a lot in common."

  "That's certainly a relief," said Melanie. "At least if you have a lot in common
you'll have things to talk about. You don't know how lucky you are. I always freeze up when I'm around cute boys. I can't think of a thing to say. It's awful," she said. "Not only does my mind go blank so that I just stare into space like a dummy, but MY TONGUE GOES NUMB!"

  I gave Melanie a sympathetic look. She was on a diet and getting thin and a lot prettier now, but for the longest time she stuffed herself with anything edible, especially brownies, and was terribly overweight. It was no wonder that she had trouble talking to cute boys.

  A few minutes later my friends went home, promising to call everyone they could think of to tell them about my date with Randy. I was glad when they left because I was suddenly getting nervous. I had never worried about talking to Randy Kirwan, but then I had never had a date with him before either. Now that Melanie had brought up the subject, I couldn't think of a single thing to talk about. Good grief, I thought. This was already Thursday afternoon. Saturday and the football game were only two days away. Surely I could think of something to talk to Randy about by then. I'd rack my brain until I thought of something really clever. I'd make the most brilliant conversation Randy had ever heard. But secretly, I could already feel my tongue going numb.

  Later, at the dinner table, I told Mom my big news. "Guess what?" I chirped. "Randy Kirwan wants me to watch him play football Saturday and then go for pizza. Is it okay if I go?"

  Mom gave me a funny look for a minute. It was probably her "how can my little girl be grown up enough to be going on a date" look, but it was gone almost as fast as it had come and she was smiling again. "I think that's wonderful, Jana. Of course you can go, and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Randy is a very nice boy."

  You can say that again, I thought. Nice and cute and a terrific football player, but what on earth would we talk about? We couldn't talk about how nice he was or how cute, and I didn't know anything about football. At least not enough to make a conversation. I thought maybe Mom would have some suggestions, but when I asked her, she gave me a quick hug and said, "Don't worry about it, honey. Just be yourself, and you'll think of lots of things to talk about."

  That was easy for her to say. Still, as I watched her secretly out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't help wondering what she and Pink talked about. Pink is short for Wallace Pinkerton, and he's her boyfriend. Actually, he's more than just a boyfriend. He bought her a diamond ring and asked her to marry him, but Mom says she needs more time to make up her mind. Mom and my father have been divorced for a long time, but she doesn't want to rush into anything. Anyway, I kept thinking about Mom and Pink. I couldn't imagine Mom's tongue ever going numb. Whenever Pink is over at our apartment, she always talks up a storm. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what they talked about.

  After we finished washing the dishes I pretended to do my homework, but my mind was still on my tongue. I rolled it around in my mouth and thought about it. I kept remembering how it felt last summer when Dr. Anderson gave me a shot of Novocain before he filled my tooth. It was awful. I could barely talk, and I definitely couldn't eat. Eat! I thought. How could I possibly eat pizza with Randy if my tongue was numb? What if I tried to take a bite of pizza and bit my tongue instead? I'd be so embarrassed that I'd die.

  That night I had a dream about Taffy Sinclair. It wasn't the kind of dream you have when you're asleep. I was in bed, but I was wide awake, tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. My sheets and blankets were a mess and my pillow felt like a rock. I couldn't go to sleep, but finally I closed my eyes and when I did, there she was. As real as anything. And she was laughing so hard that you could see her one crooked bicuspid. It was at Mama Mia's Pizzeria after the football game on Saturday afternoon, and Taffy was standing beside the table where Randy and I were sitting. She was pointing at me while she laughed, and suddenly she turned around and shouted to all the other kids in Mama Mia's, "Jana Morgan can't even talk to Randy because her tongue is numb!"

  I thought I'd die. What good would it do to be the first girl in the sixth grade to have a date with Randy Kirwan, the most wonderful boy in the world, if Taffy Sinclair was going to spoil it? In my dream I could hear everybody laughing. I couldn't look at Randy. I didn't want to know if he was laughing, too. I'd get that Taffy Sinclair. I'd get her if it was the last thing I ever did.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Beth had been right. I was a celebrity. When I got to school the next morning girls came running up to ask me about my big date.

  "Is it true? Is it true?" shrieked Alexis Duvall. "Do you really have a date with Randy Kirwan?"

  By the time I could even begin to answer Alexis, a crowd had already gathered around me. I tried to act casual, as if this sort of thing happened to me every day of the week.

  "It's true," I said. "Randy called me yesterday afternoon and asked me to watch his football game tomorrow and then go out for pizza with him afterward."

  "Oh, Jana! You're so lucky," cried Kim Baxter. She rolled her eyes backwards and wobbled her knees as if she were going to faint, but I knew she was only faking.

  "Randy Kirwan is so-o-o-o cute," said Sara Sawyer. "I'd give anything to have a date with him."

  There were murmurs of "Yeah," and "So would I." I fought hard to keep a big fat smile from spreading across my face. I had to admit that it was fun being a celebrity. There was only one thing wrong. I couldn't find Taffy Sinclair anywhere. I was dying to see her face.

  "Listen. I have to go now," I said. "I'll talk to you later."

  I started moving away in the direction of my friends, but Kim caught my hand, stopping me. "You've got to promise that you'll tell us everything that happens on your date. Promise?" she begged. She had such a grip on my hand that I knew I'd better promise or I'd never get away from her.

  "Sure. I promise to tell you all about it."

  I darted away from them before someone else had a great idea and grabbed me again. I wanted to talk to my friends and ask them if they'd seen Taffy Sinclair. I was walking across the school ground toward them when disaster struck.

  "Hi, Jana!"

  Oh, no, I thought. This can't be happening to me, today of all days. It was nerd of the world, Curtis Trowbridge. I ignored the alligator-size grin on Curtis's face and tried not to remember how he had been following me around for practically a whole year acting as if he were my boyfriend. Not only that, but Curtis was so brainy that he lived on another planet. What if Randy saw me talking to him? Would he think I really liked Curtis?

  Curtis came trotting up beside me with his glasses bouncing on his nose. "Going to your locker? I'll walk with you."

  Great, I thought. Now what would I do? For an instant I thought about sending him off on a wild goose chase, tracking down an imaginary idea for a story for the Mark Twain Sentinel. Curtis takes being sixth-grade editor for the school newspaper pretty seriously. He would do anything to get a story. But then I changed my mind. I couldn't do a thing like that to Curtis. Underneath that brainy exterior was a pretty nice person, and I really didn't want to hurt his feelings. Besides, I wanted Randy to see me as the kind and sensitive person that I really am.

  "I'll walk as far as the front door with you," I offered. "My friends are waiting for me there."

  I fell in step with him just as he whipped out a notebook and pencil. "What was all the excitement about?" he asked. "You really drew a crowd when you got to school. Is it anything that would make a good story for the paper?"

  "Gosh, no. It was nothing," I blurted. Then I looked away so that Curtis couldn't see the blush spreading over my face. Knowing how Curtis felt about me, how could I tell him that all the excitement was because I was going out with Randy Kirwan?

  Fortunately we had gotten to where my friends were standing. "See you later, Curtis," I said.

  "Bye, Jana," Curtis said. "See you in class."

  "Have you seen Taffy Sinclair?" asked Melanie. "We can't find her anywhere, and we're dying to see the look on her face this morning."

  I shook my head and started scanning the school
ground. I wanted to see her more than anyone, but she was nowhere in sight.

  "I'll bet she's waiting until the first bell rings to show up," said Katie. "You know how she likes to make a grand entrance."

  As if on cue, the first bell rang, and we scrambled to our room and took our seats. I didn't think Taffy Sinclair would ever get there. In fact, I was beginning to wonder if she was going to be absent. All the kids were in their seats, including Randy. He had come into the room with Mark Peters and Scott Daly, and they had been horsing around as usual, which is probably why he didn't look at me or say hi or anything. Anyway, Taffy finally got there, strutting to her seat as if she expected applause to break out any minute. My heart was pounding as she sat down at her desk. I held my breath as I waited to see what she would do.

  You could tell she knew that she had an audience because she turned around very slowly in her seat and looked back over her shoulder and smiled. I knew who she was looking at, but still, when she said his name out loud I thought I would explode. "Hi, Randy," she said in her icky sweet voice.

  I think I heard him say hi back to her, but my heart was pounding so loudly in my ears by then that I couldn't be sure. Then Taffy turned around the other way and looked over her shoulder at me. I thought I'd die. She was giving me the worst poison-dart look I had ever seen. It wasn't just her standard "drop dead" poison-dart look. It was an "I'll get even with you" look, if I ever saw one.

  I scrunched down in my seat and hid behind my notebook, wondering how she planned to get even with me. I had never seen her looking so mad. Maybe letting Beth call her on the phone and disguise her voice to tell her about my date hadn't been such a good idea after all.

  I peeked over my notebook at Randy to see if he was looking at me, too, but he wasn't. Not at first, anyway. But then he turned a little bit in his seat until he was looking in my direction. I thought that he might be looking out the window, which was also in my direction, and I tried to look away. I didn't want him to catch me staring at him and think I was a nerd. But suddenly he was looking at me—with both big blue eyes—and he was smiling that 1,000-watt smile that always makes my heart turn flip-flops. I tried to smile back, but my mouth had turned to Silly Putty, and I wasn't sure if the corners were pointing up or down. It didn't matter. What did matter was that he was smiling at me and not at Taffy Sinclair. I was so happy I thought I'd die.